Heard it from a guy in India

Do you know what this is? Yes, it's one of those "easy to read" pee-on pregnancy tests. What do you think those lines mean? Let me break it down for you...

Angela: Hurry, hurry, come in here! I couldn't hold it in any longer, so I took a test because I wanted to know before I went to the dentist. Don't be pissed, I swear I didn't peek!

T.J.: (Not believing his wife) Where is it?

Oral-Hygiene Obsessed Woman Insanely Brushing Her Teeth: I'm scared! You look at it! I can't look at it.

T.J.: (Digging under the pile of clothes where crazy woman hid the pee stick) How many lines is it supposed to have?

Angela: (Flossing madly) Two...I think.

T.J.: (Very confused) It's negative...wait, where's the box?

Angela: (Swishing some low-alcohol-content mouthwash) It's right here. What does it say? I can't look at it!

T.J.: Yeah, it's negative.

Angela: I knew it.

T.J.: (Staring at the pretty directions) I don't know.

Angela: (Suddenly realizing it's a stupid plus/minus-graphical-read-out-type-of-a-test) Oh my God, did we read it wrong?! I think we read it wrong! Call the number, CALL THEM!

T.J.: (Walking briskly towards the kitchen) I'm calling!

Angela: (Running quickly behind) Hurry! They close at 5 p.m. Eastern time! Shit! I think they're already closed!

T.J.: (Speaking to someone on the line) Yes, um, we took one of the EPT tests and, um, if there is one line going up and down...

Angela: (Idiot!) Speaker phone! SPEAKER PHONE!

T.J.: (How the hell do I put it on speaker...oh, orange button) You there?

Customer Service Guy in, Of Course, India: ...yes, mum, dat is indeed a puzItive an-sa, mum. It duzn't matta if dee line is ver-dee faint.

T.J.: (Smiling ear to ear) Thank you, sir.

India Boy: Thank you fa calling EPT, suh. Should you have any ma questions, please call..blah, blah, blah.

Angela: (Yes, I wanted to get pregnant, but what the hell have I gotten myself into...again!) I can't believe we had to call a guy in India to find out if I'm pregnant. You think that's right? (Hugs and kisses and I-love-yous all around.) I don't think it's right! I mean, I feel like I'm about to start my period! I have to go to the dentist. What do I tell him if he asks?

T.J. (Very proud) I'm a one-hit wonder! (Story NOT to be told later...T.J. would kill me. Just ask Dr. Shettles.)